Whether you want it to or not, crime is happening all the time. Everywhere. Unfortunately that’s the way things are. But fortunately, some criminals are hilarious and amazing - you might even say they’re our spirit criminals. Don’t get us wrong, these funny criminals still did something illegal, but the way they went about it was either so clever or funny that they went from being petty thieves and felons to being the kind of heroic outlaws that inspire those of us who aren’t as rebellious to take life by the horns and shake it for everything it has to offer. These charming rakes are our 2015 spirit criminals.
In a world torn down the middle by religious and racial inequality, funny real life crime stories are one of the few things that offer common ground for laughs and headshakes. Thankfully, 2015 was full of clever criminals committing acts that are more in line with a Saturday Night Live sketch than the harsh realities reported by Fox News and CNN. These spirit criminals may be committing crimes, but the way they go about them is so darn funny and admirable that it makes the crooks on this list seem like your favorite wacky aunts and uncles.
Just to be safe, don’t try to go out and crawl through the air ducts of your local Walmart or steal a Winnie the Pooh car after you read about the funny criminals on this list. What you should do is vote up the criminals from 2015 you see as your spirit animals, and then take to the comments to tell the world why!
Everyone's Spirit Criminals in 2015,
Car Thief Has Mad Whip Game, Dances to Future After She's Busted by the Police
In August, an alleged car thief tore through downtown Los Angeles in a gold Ford Fusion. When the cops caught up to her, rather than go down in a blaze of glory, she busted a few moves to "Where Ya At" by Future. Just by happening this story has made the world a better place.
Man Uses Balloons to Fly and Finds That the Police, Rather Than Adventure, Are Out There
A man in Calgary, Canada attached 100 helium balloons to a lawn chair in July so he could take a spin around the Calgary skyline. Unfortunately, the buzzkill police were waiting for him on the ground. He was charged with one count of mischief causing danger to life, and sentenced to a lifetime of high fives.
Shoplifter Escapes Walmart Die Hard Style
In Alabama, one shoplifter made sure he didn't go to the big house. After being caught by a loss prevention officer he was wrestled into an office where, failing to kick down the door, he made his way through the ceiling and escaped after kicking through to the main entrance. So far there's no word on how much Sam's Choice Cola he was able to make off with.
Hello Barbie, Have You Been Partying?
After having her license revoked for getting a DUI, Tara Monroe decided the best way to get to campus was by driving an electric Barbie Jeep. DUIs are horrible, but this is pretty great.
Florida Man Arrested for Being Too Metal
On 4th of July, Lane Pittman was arrested for setting up an amp on a sidewalk near his Florida home and jamming "The Star Spangled Banner" as loudly as possible. Allegedly, he drew a crowd of over 200 people and The Man just couldn't let him get away with it. Rock on, dude.
The Most Interesting Traffic Ticket in the World
A creative driver in Washington state was given a $124 traffic ticket for attempting to use a cut out of Jonathan Goldsmith, otherwise known as "The Most Interesting Man in the World," to qualify for the carpool lane. The ticketing officer had a good sense of humor about the situation, and even tweeted a photo of the criminal and his passenger.
Motorcyclist Evades Police by Riding Through Mall
Surrey, British Columbia seems to have a bit of a Hell's Angels problem (a sentence no one expected to type in the history of life on earth). In early March a motorcyclist was leading the police on a high speed chase when he took a detour through a mall and down an escalator before escaping the fuzz. Yes it's super dangerous, but it's also super cool.
Teen Girls Form Counter-Terrorism Unit & Scam ISIS
In what might be the best use of the Internet ever, three Russian girls used a variety of social media accounts to scam a few thousand dollars out of the international terrorist group, ISIS, which contacted them about joining in early 2015. The girls are currently being charged with fraud, but they should be charged with stealing hearts all over the world.
Australian Woman Is Jailed for Calling Out Bad Parking
Jodi Magi, an Australian woman who was living in Abu Dhabi was arrested after making a post to Facebook featuring a photo of a car parked across multiple disabled parking spaces. Magi was charged with "writing bad words on social media about a person" and was deported.
Colorado Man Fined with Shooting His Computer Execution Style
Lucas Hinch, of Colorado Springs, CO, finally did what everyone who sits in front of a computer all day wants to do and took his Dell to a back alley and shot it eight times with his new 9mm pistol. He told the Los Angeles Times, “It was glorious. Angels sung on high. It was premeditated, oh, definitely. I made sure there wasn't anything behind it and nothing to ricochet.”